Sunday, July 22nd, 2007 by Adam Wagner
The Queer Eye Bobblehead
Having just spent two consecutive nights at PNC Park, one very successful, the other not so much, I have quite a few observations to share. First off, though, is the most important
question: Why in God’s name are the Pirates giving out a bobblehead with plucked eyebrows, a moustach that looks more made-up than Donald Trump’s hair, and a pink-looking bandanna?
I can understand a need to hand out bobbleheads. The team needs to attract people somehow and baseball obviously isn’t the best way. If they felt a need to give out a feminine bobblehead, however, why didn’t they give out one of, like, the hottest wife/girlfriend of one of the player’s instead of this monstrosity? Brian Giles may have approved (as long as it lacks body hair and enjoys running around naked), but most Pittsburghers don’t.
The person who seemed to enjoy looking at it the most was the man who “wishe[d] he could look like he was twelve with, like, plastic surgery and stuff, nevermind that [he is] five times that age” in the restaurant we hit up after the game. Please, no more bobbleheads until you promise (and swear multiple times) that they are going to be of actual players and are not going to have pink bandannas on.
The rest of the observations from the two games will come later . . . this is just too awful for me to pass up. I mean, lipstick on a bobblehead (just look at that thing . . .)? Who would even think of that? Only the nutty-Nutting-led Pirates.
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