Be Like Tike

Jump to Comments

So, this is a late start, but I’m going to try to liveblog the Steelers’ (7-3) contest with the Dolphins (0-10) tonight at a waterlogged Heinz Field. Potential story lines tonight include the hideous turf, Ricky Williams, the return of Joy Porter to Pittsburgh and the tragic shooting of Redskins’ S Sean Taylor earlier today.

8:53 - Vince Neal, lead singer of Motley Crue, is singing the National Anthem. I hope that he brought his rain boots because leather (even cowboy boots) will simply not get the job done tonight. It will get trashed.

8:55 - Allen Rossum will receive the kick. The field already looks terrible. Yard lines simply do not exist.

8:55 - Willie Parker just slid to his left and a stream of water flew up as high as his waist. This is ugly.

8:56 - Ben just completed a pass, his first completion on his second attempt of the night, for a first down to what looks like the 45 yard line. I sincerely hope that they do not need the chains at all tonight.

8:57 - Cedrick Wilson just showed why he should be a starting receiver as he laid out for a ball underthrown by Ben to make a catch for another big first down. I do not understand why the Steelers are so against using him as their third receiver. Sure, he is small and yes he doesn’t have the best attitude at times, but he seems to get the job done on a consistent basis which is more than can be said for Nate Washington.

8:59 - The Steelers have gotten the job done through the air much more than the ground to this point, which is odd considering the weather. This just goes to show how awful the field is, with it being easier to throw a slippery football than run on this turf.

9:00 - Joey Porter, the Mouth of the (now) South, picks off a pass that Ben probably should not have thrown. He appeared to slip before throwing the ball while he was escaping the pocket and threw a wobbly pass that was a semi-easy interception for Porter to kill the Steelers’ drive.

9:03 - Joey Porter thinks Ben Roethlisberger loves him. No one else thinks so.

9:05 - The Dolphins have no confidence in John Beck, which is clearly shown by them having him throw a swing pass to Ted Ginn instead of throwing a pass long enough for the first down on a third and long play. The Dolphins will not be able to get anything resembling a ground game going tonight. And that is due to more than the lack of grass to appease Ricky Williams.

9:08 - Roethlisberger, throwing again, throws what appears to be a six to eight yard pass to Cedrick Wilson.

9:09 - Willie Parker bulls for six yards, the longest run of the night to this point. I somehow feel that runners are not going to be the stars of tonight’s game . . .

9:10 - Anytime someone tries to cut on this awful field, they toss water up in a way resmbling a car running through a puddle. This is not good.

9:11 - Parker somehow just managed to keep his balance long enough for a nine yard run, including a pole vault type of move.

9:12 - The Steelers seem to mess up every time they get a drive going. This time, Roethlisberger managed to get “sacked” by Will Allen resulting in a 14 yard loss on the ensuing fumble. At least the Steelers are winning the battle of field position right now.

9:13 - The ESPN announcers just tried talking about how exciting Ted Ginn is supposed to be. Then he signaled for a fair catch. The Dolphins still should have taken Brady Quinn with the ninth overall pick this year. Ted Ginn type players come along all the time (see: Antwan Randle El and Devin Hester) and are constantly available in the second round, while John Beck is nowhere near the type of franchise quarterback that Quinn is.

9:15 - Larry Foote further shows why the Steelers got rid of Porter, taking down Dolphins’ running back Jesse Chatman two yards behind the line of scrimmage.

9:16 - Ted Ginn Jr. wears a very small facemask, not a typical one at all. It only has two bars, neither one very far apart, and does not seem as if it would provide ample protection.

9:17 - Ricky Williams just managed to drive for a first down. And now he’s still in the game . . . I can not help but think that he will supplant Chatman as Miami’s starting running back for most of the remainder of this season . . . As I typed that, he gained a grand total of two yards on two carries.

9:19 - The first quarter took a grand total of 25 minutes. That is ridiculously fast and shows that the referees and players simply do not want to be on that field tonight. It is even more impressive when one considers that the Steelers have been passing the entire time. The game is still 0-0 at the end of the first quarter, but Pittsburgh looks like the better team right now. Who knows what could happen in this weather, though?

9:21 - John Beck just tried to throw 10ish yard pass when he had a ton of room to run for the first down. He does not look ready.

9:25 - Tony Kornheiser just said that the Dolphins are “looking to rebuild,” odd terminology since the Dolphins are lining up with a known stoner in the backfield, a lame-looking rookie at QB, and a supposedly exciting punt returner who likes to fair catch.

9:26 - The Dolphins stop the Steelers on a fourth down, but the call was actually a very good one. In that situation, statistics have shown that teams should go for it more instead of punting. The only disadvantage to the situation is that the Dolphins now have the advantage in field position. Oh well. The Steelers are still probably the better team.

9:30 - The Dolphins get one nice run from Ricky Williams, but then attempt a reverse to Ted Ginn. That did not quite work not only because Ted Ginn is not very good, but because the field wouldn’t allow it.

9:31 - Ricky Williams looked more high after fumbling the ball due to a hit from James Farrior than I have ever seen him. He keeps diving forward at the end of his runs, which probably is not that great of an idea on a night like this one where the ball is extremely slippery.

9:34 - What is the obsession with reverses tonight? It is obviously difficult to cut already and the reverse is a play that is absolutely dependent on cutting. If it is not possible, the play will not work.

9:35 - The Steelers continue to shoot themselves in the foot, as Najeh Davenport’s holding brings back a long pass from Roethlisberger to Hines Ward.

9:37 - The Steelers regain their lead in the battle of field position as Sepulveda releases a 39 yard punt, giving the Steelers the field position. Now the just need to figure out how to capitalize on this field position. They have shown an ability to throw the ball tonight, but a total inability to capitalize on their opportunities.

9:40 - Ricky Williams does not look ready to be hit yet. Tony Kornheiser is trying to rip Ricky Williams apart and sounds more like a complete old fart instead of a good analyst. He just changed his point completely.

9:41 - Jesse Chatman looks awful, as he just lost two yards easily. Ricky Williams is leaving the field due to his, um, shoulder injury. Wow, that comeback lasted all of six carries and 15 yards.

9:45 - Allen Rossum shows again that he was worth the pick the Steelers had to surrender to get him as he returns the ball to the Miami 47 yard line.

9:48 - Willie Parker breaks off another eight yard run, as the Steelers are trying to drive again. ESPN is still trying to justify Ricky Williams’ walking out on his team. Why can’t they just admit that he’s a flake and get it over with?

9:50 - Pittsburgh shoots itself in the foot again, as Heath Miller gets a faux-pass interference penalty called on him, bringing the ball back to 3rd and 11 instead of a first down.

9:51 - Mike Trico just tried to use “jack up” as a verb: “Joey Porter was jacking up Heath Miller.” That does not quite work.

9:53 - The Steelers punt again, with the Dolphins getting the ball at their own 11. This game is still 0-0 at the two minute warning. That’s just bizarre and unexpected.

9:56 - The Steeler defense collapses for the first time tonight, as David Martin ends up open at what appears to be about the 35 yard line, giving the Dolphins a first down. ESPN just flashed a stat that shows there not having been a scoreless first half in Pittsburgh in 52 years.

9:57 - John Beck is leveled after letting go of the ball.

9:57 - Beck is James Farrior’s personal punching bag at this point, as he is leveled again. The receiver drops the semi-underthrown football, however, and the Dolphins get nowhere.

9:58 - This game is scoreless at the half in an extremely surprising development. Also, the second quarter took 39 minutes in an amount of time that is a little bit more normal than the freakishly fast 25 minutes that the first quarter took place in.

10:02 - They just flashed Michael Wilbon sitting, obviously waiting for Tony Kornheiser. The funny part was that he was alone and looking very grumpy in his position above the field.

10:13 - Ted Ginn manages to get the ball to the 32 despite dropping the ball at his own 11.

10:14 - They are showing the pits in the field right now. It just looks terrible. Whoever thought it was a good idea to have six games there is weekend should be fired.

10:14 - The Dolphins end up with Ted Ginn Jr. open for a 15 yard gain, perhaps their longest play of the night.

10:15 - The Dolphins are using the midrange passing game that the Steelers used effectively on them earlier in this half, as they are taking low risk, short passes that just move the ball.

10:16 - After a nineish yard run by Jesse Chatman, Ron Jaworski’s voice cracked. Now two-thirds of the booth’s voices have cracked, with Kornheiser’s cracking earlier. C’Mon, Mike, let your voice crack.

10:17 - The Dolphins try a flea-flicker that results in a first down pass to David Martin. The Dolphins are on the Steelers’ 26 and 0-11 suddenly appears very far away.

10:18 - John Beck just threw the ball away and it made a splash on the sideline. This field is so bad.

10:19 - The Dolphins decide to go for it on 4th and 15 in a seemingly intelligent call considering the kicking conditions, but we have to wait until after a commercial break to find out what happens.

10:21 - Larry Foote and James Farrior take John Beck down for a sack on that fourth down. Who needs Joey Porter now?

10:22 - Willie Parker gets one decent gain and then gets taken down for almost no gain.

10:24 - Hines Ward continues to prove his value to the team, catching a pass for about five yards and a first down that takes the Steelers into Miami territory again. I wonder how they’ll shoot themselves in the foot this time.

10:26 - The Dolphins take Roethlisberger down on another third down, as the offensive line fails to give Roethlisberger enough time to score. Daniel Sepulveda further proves that he is more valuable than Ted Ginn (kidding, slightly) by rolling the ball out of bounds at about the eight yard line.

10:32 - Jesse Chatman goes down hard, rolling around on the ground after being hit. Suddenly the Dolphins might be down to their third-string running back Patrick Cobbs.

10:35 - The Dolphins look crappy on the next play, taking Back down for a loss. On the next play, Beck almost throws an interception to Ike Taylor, who allows the ball to go over his shoulder for an incomplete pass.

10:36 - The ball just hit the field and simply died on a punt, stuck in the ground. Footballs should not do that in the middle of an NFL game. Ever. The image of that ball just dying, the ESPN announces said it looked like it was “on a tee” has been the defining moment of the game to this point.

10:39 - Willie Parker manages to get another first down, with two good runs, as he is now finding and making holes at last.

10:40 - Parker waits behind the line of scrimmage, waiting to bounce to the outside for seven yards.

10:41 - Parker just passed the 1,000 yard mark for the season, becoming the second undrafted player to do that in three consecutive seasons. He now has 74 yards on the day.

10:42 - It looks more and more like the team that wins this game will have to score a touchdown as Jeff Reed absolutely shanks an attempt at a 45 yard field goal, looking worse than Mike Vanderjagt against the Steelers. At the end of 3 quarters, it is still a scoreless football game.

10:48 - The Steelers are still letting up big passes, as Marty Booker gets wide open in the secondary and gets a big first down for the Dolphins, who move into Steeler territory.

10:51 - Beck throws downfield to a still wide open Marty Booker, moving the ball to the Pittsburgh 25 yard line. The Steelers’ defense looks extremely vulnerable right now.

10:54 - Jay Feeley tried a 37-yard field and missed badly, but there was a delay of game immediately prior to the kick and he will have another opportunity.

10:55 - John Beck and company come back onto the field, taking a chance on fourth and 11 and James Harrison knocks the ball out of Beck’s hands, allowing Aaron Smith to recover and the Steelers to regain possession.

10:58 - Cedrick Wilson makes another big catch, moving the Steelers to what looks like, um, I really have no clue. Their 40ish?

10:59 - Ben dumps the ball off to Willie Parker, allowing the Steelers to have a 3rd and 5, which is much easier to deal with.

11:00 - Ward goes just beyond the first down line, catches the ball, and gets about five more yards for another first down. The Steelers are sort of driving again, but it is clear that they will need to score a touchdown to win this game.

11:01 - Najeh Davenport takes the ball for about five yards, allowing the clock to keep running and the Steelers to have another advantageous situation from the Miami 34.

11:02 - The Steelers line up in a shotgun formation on 3rd and 5 and Ben gets taken down at the 42 yard line, forcing another punt situation instead of even thinking about the field goal. That was definitely a ball that he should have gotten rid of before he was sacked.

11:03 - Ginn fair catches at the 10, again unable to unleash his supposed top skill. If the Dolphins took Ginn #9, where would Santonio Holmes have been if he had been in the 2007 draft?

11:06 - On second down, the Steelers get no pass rush until the final instant when Brett Kiesel manages to reach and grab Beck’s ankle, yanking him down for a sack.

11:07 - Tyrone Carter makes a tackle, but as he is pushing receiver back, mud just flies up behind him. After the hit, Carter pulls a Jackie Chan impersonation and kicks at something in the air.

11:09 - The Dolphins’ punter (sorry, I don’t know his name) unleashes a line drive kick that forces Rossum to back up on his return, eventually fielding it at about the 48 and getting to the Dolphin 42 before trying to cut and simply falling over on this field. This is like that game in Friday Night Lights last year where they decided to play in some farmer’s field. Except that game was more entertaining because the Dillon Panthers had cheerleaders.

11:12 - Roethlisberger uses his arm to unleash a pass to Hines Ward, bringing the ball to about the 14 yard line. This is the first time either team has been in the red zone all night and the throw from Roethlisberger really was an excellent one.

11:12 - The Steelers are suddenly out of the red zone as Heath Miller basically tackled Heath Miller, moving the Steelers to a 1st and 20 from the Miami 24. They really need to stop shooting themselves in the foot.

11:14 - Roethlisberger moves the Steelers again, with another completion to Hines Ward. It is 3rd and three for the Steelers at the two minute warning, with Miami the Steelers hopefully scoring here and finally ending this game, which is, at this point, the longest scoreless game since 1943.

11:17 - Willie Reid makes a rare contribution, catching the ball and getting the first down. Ben has now completed 15 consecutive passes and the Steelers have the ball at about the six yard line.

11:19 - Parker bulldozes forward for a two yard gain or so on second down after Roethlisberger wastes a pass. Miami takes a timeout. If the Steelers score here, it will almost certainly be the game. If not, then we may see the first scoreless tie in NFL history.

11:21 - Roethlisberger nearly manages to take the Steelers out of field goal range by getting sacked, but he somehow manages to take a two or three yard sack instead of a twelve-yard one. Jeff Reed will come on to try to win the game and even Tony Kornheiser realizes that Reed has the best hairdo in football.

11:23 - REED MAKES THE KICK! He puts the 24-yarder through with 17 seconds to go to give the Steelers a 3-0 lead on the first scoring of the night. At last.

11:25 - The Steelers bring Ted Ginn down and, with 13 ticks to go, probably have the game about wrapped up.

11:26 - The Dolphins try to lateral the ball around and the flags come flying, with the penalty being an illegal forward pass on Booker. The penalty is declined and there is a second down for the Dolphins, with the Steelers winning on another attempted lateral play.

11:28 - That was one of the ugliest, most entertaining games I have seen in a very long time, but the Steelers somehow pulled it out to move to 8-3, while the Dolphins are 0-11 and still on the quest for the imperfect season. I’m done. Good night, if you’ve stuck with us this long. Thank you.

Related Posts

• What Became Obvious - The Second Liveblog
• The Late Liveblog - 8/7
• What Liveblogging Makes Obvious