Be Like Tike

Monday, March 31st, 2008 by Adam Wagner

The return of the great Matt Kata

On Opening Day’s Eve, something so magical, so wonderful, so awesome happened that the Pirates may just break their streak of 15 consecutive losing seasons, thereby preventing them from tying the record of futility. I am, of course, referring to the team’s trading for Matt Kata, everyone’s favorite bench player from last season.

Kata was the player who you did not want to see in the starting lineup when you walked into the stadium, the guy who made you feel like the Nutting family was using your dollar bills in their bathrooms. He was also, however, a versatile, somewhat valuable part off of the bench who had a propensity for making Jim Tracy look like something more than a total nincompoop.

For instance, his one home run last year came on August 17 against the Phillies, a game that ended 11-8 in favor of the Phils but that was followed by a concert from Smash Mouth, the artists who recorded “All Star,” everyone’s favorite one hit wonder. The home run came in the fifth inning in a pinch-hit situation. Tom Gorzelanny had been fllatout awful to that point, surrendering five runs, and he was pulled for Kata with two outs. Kata hit a home run and the stadium became a little more energetic.

Kata is that type of player, one of intangibles who is really nice to have in reserve but who you desperately don’t want starting. I wouldn’t mind seeing him in Pittsburgh again, but this year the honor of the player who makes me feel like the Nuttings are robbing me is probably going to have to belong to Phil Dumatrait, no matter what.